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Monday, January 2, 2017

NSFW



“What does TL,DR mean?” I asked Scotto the other day as I scrolled through a Reddit thread about my latest favourite conspiracy theory.

“Too long, didn’t read,” he replied.

“Hmmmpf,” I snorted, thinking to myself that only an idiot would write that on someone’s post.

Who would openly admit they lacked the concentration to finish reading a post?

A rude dumbhead that’s who.

“What does NSFW mean?” I asked Scotto.

“Not Safe For Work,” he mumbled.

This was a revelation for me because I always thought it was something to do with the New South Wales Football Association and I’d been wondering why the New South Wales Football Association wrote so much questionable material on the Internet.

Now that I’ve titled this post, NSFW, I expect that no one will read it because, why would any sane person read my posts in their free time? Unless I get a lot of readers who think this post is about the New South Wales Football Association of course.

I can assure you there is nothing ‘not safe for work’ or about the New South Wales Football Association in this post so if that’s what you came for you’ll be disappointed.

And yes I know this post is rapidly becoming TL,DR.

My title stands for “Neighbours who you Suspect may Feasibly be a bit Weird”.

Mrs Bunny, of the bizarre and unbelievable Easter decorations incident, came over for lunch yesterday with some other neighbours and friends to celebrate the first day of 2017.




I took a photo of the crowd at the table and called out (as I always do), “This will be going on the Internet unless anyone objects and plans on suing me.”

“It’s going on your bloody blog isn’t it?” called out Mrs Bunny from the end of the table. “I’ve read Pinky Poinker! I know you called me a nutcase!”



Naturally, I was very keen to show my mother and my friend Sue (from Making the Mundane Merry ) Mrs. Bunny’s Christmas decorations (which eclipsed her Easter display by about seventeen degrees of cray cray) because, well... words are just not adequate.

We all traipsed across the road in order to collect the jelly cheesecake Mrs Bunny had made for dessert and I couldn’t wait to see the expression on my mother and Sue’s faces when they witnessed the extraordinary exhibit with their own eyes.


















Sue and Santa



Mrs Bunny has added to her collection by travelling to the United States a lot and has also provided complete financial backing to at least three bubble-wrap factories in South-East Asia.

Mrs Bunny is not only the kindest and most welcoming person who makes killer cheesecakes; she also supports third world countries.


Mrs Bunny not only keeps the Christmas spirit alive in our street, she is the Christmas spirit.

Mrs Bunny told us she is going to start packing everything away today and should be finished just before Easter.

The thought of it exhausts me.

Pablo and his cuddly toy

Happy New Year guys!