Monday, January 1, 2018
What was your Favourite Chrissy present?
I have a smear test scheduled for tomorrow.
If there’s one thing I hate almost as much as mammograms, it’s smear tests.
When I made the appointment it was still December 2017 but apparently it’s now frickin January 2018.
Shit.
It seemed like so far away when I made the appointment on December 22, 2017.
And now it appears, if you have a smear test and you don’t have a certain venereal disease like Herpes Apple iONS11 you don’t have to have a smear test for another 5 years… but I know… I just know I will have that disease.
I will have that thing and I will have to do the walk of shame.
I will be mandated (by law) to have my insides violated every bloody year.
Whatever the f#ck.
Anyway, did you get some good Christmas presents?
Can I just say that I am really glad nobody bought me a frickin Fitbit for Christmas.
What the hell? A pedometer you wear on your arm???
I had a proper pedometer which I wore once and it informed me that the usual walk I took around the river was 6000 steps. That took about an hour so I knew that any one hour walk I engaged in was going to be was about 6000 steps so why the fudge did I ever need the stupid pedometer again?
It’s still sitting in a drawer somewhere.
I really don’t get the whole Fitbit thing.
My son gave me the most brilliant present ever.
A power bank.
For someone who drives vast distances in the wallops every day and who never remembers to recharge their phone when they probably need it in case of emergency (like running into a really big kangaroo, being washed away in flash floods or being abducted by a Wolf Creek, psychotic type assassin) this is a bloody brilliant present.
But … how will I remember to recharge the power bank?
God.
Now I have another thing do.
Life used to be so simple when all you had to do was remember to put out the milk money.
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