I thought I was hearing things yesterday when I walked in the door after a hard day teaching my Grade Four class. It sounded like the roar of a vacuum cleaner... but that was an unworkable hypothesis; there was no vacuum cleaner attached to my arm.
No, it was definitely a vacuum cleaner. But how? I pondered. No one else in the house would even know where it was kept or how to turn it on. Perhaps it was a very house conscious burglar?
As I nervously rounded the corner of the hallway an unconceivable phenomenon met my goggling eyes. It was sixteen year old Lulu, vacuum in hand, ferociously hoovering the lounge room!
Espying her gobsmacked mother standing motionless and staring like a stunned mullet, she turned the machine off and haughtily sashayed past me into the kitchen.
“Mummsy,” she said, (that’s what she calls me when she wants something) “Can my boyfriend Jack come over and hang out tomorrow night?”
Hmmm, I thought analytically. That is why she’s cleaning the house. She is so ashamed of the state I’ve allowed it to descend into, she has taken it upon herself to do some housework!
As I nervously rounded the corner of the hallway an unconceivable phenomenon met my goggling eyes. It was sixteen year old Lulu, vacuum in hand, ferociously hoovering the lounge room!
Espying her gobsmacked mother standing motionless and staring like a stunned mullet, she turned the machine off and haughtily sashayed past me into the kitchen.
“Mummsy,” she said, (that’s what she calls me when she wants something) “Can my boyfriend Jack come over and hang out tomorrow night?”
Hmmm, I thought analytically. That is why she’s cleaning the house. She is so ashamed of the state I’ve allowed it to descend into, she has taken it upon herself to do some housework!
Yay for Pinky!
“Of course Jack can come over,” I replied jauntily, “I’d love to meet him. By the way, the hallway needs a going over too.”
“Of course Jack can come over,” I replied jauntily, “I’d love to meet him. By the way, the hallway needs a going over too.”
Then I added, muttering thoughtfully, “Maybe I’ll write about meeting this Jack in my blog.”
Lulu eyed me condescendingly.
Lulu eyed me condescendingly.
“That’d be right! Mum you write about sh#t! Why don’t you write about me drinking this glass of water?” she scornfully thrust a very uninteresting glass of water at me in an aggressive fashion.
“Maybe I will!” I retorted, “Maybe I will. Don’t forget to vacuum the stairs, they’re covered in dust. The downstairs’ toilet needs cleaning as well. You don’t want Jack to think you live in a pig sty do you?”
So Handsome Jack is coming over tonight.
I can’t wait to meet him and I can’t help but hope he’s just a little bit odd. Normal people just don’t fit in here and besides… it will give me something to write about other than that glass of water.
