Monday, October 20, 2014

New Reality Show! "Empty Nest Syndrome".

Channel 10 would like to announce a BRAND NEW reality show about a 19 year old who moves out of home and into a crappy rental with three mates...

How will he survive using sheets as curtains?

Who will clean the toilet and collect the used toilet rolls?

Who will replenish the refrigerator with left over Spaghetti Bolognese and bananas?

Who will remind him the rap music he's playing might incite the pleasant elderly neighbours to call the cops.

Who'll be there to reassure him his jock rash is a minor affliction and he can buy a cream from the pharmacist to get rid of it?

Who will lovingly lug his full load of washing from the machine when he's left it there for two days straight and hang it out before it grows mildew?

Who will collect the thirty milk-mouldy glasses from his room and wash and dry them?

Who will collect all his Macca's paper bags from the front yard where he dumped them when he 'cleaned out' his car?



Loose bachelor pad.

Second hand party boy couches!


Hatch back city.


How will his mother Pinky cope when she peers out the bedroom window in the morning and realises there are only three hatchbacks living with her now? Where's the ute?

No pants party?

Will the prodigal son spend his time partying with his pants off? Will he expect to come home and be received with open arms and a fatted calf?



Celine and Pablo

Or will he be instantly replaced by hairy interlopers who are much less demanding and welcome Pinky home every day with slobbering submissiveness instead of surly, reproachful scowls?


Greeks Bearing Gifts

Perhaps he will be usurped by others who know how to win her affections with frivolous frivolities?

Thaddeus and Pinky

Or even knocked from his pedestal by another older son who knows how to play his cards right?

Lunching at the Yacht Club

Of perhaps his mother will discover how much fun it is when life begins again and she is free to go out lunching without fear of a call requesting a detailed menu forecast for the night?

Or will Pinky cave in... collapse under the stress of her dwindling control over the litter of cubs she created some years ago?

Stay tuned for the preview of "The Empty Nest Syndrome".