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Saturday, March 25, 2017

Fascinating Rooster in Love Tactics That Can Help Your Business Grow



It appears my rooster, Hodor, has fallen in love with me. 


Mum and Dad were over last weekend and he jumped on my lap and sat there listening to our conversation the whole time. He follows me around everywhere, endearing himself so he won’t be given away. He’s gaslighting me with his cuteness. He’s trying to act all coy so I will convince Scotto to let me keep him.

I re-located Hodor into a new coop with his own little harem, the four silkie chickens, Theon Greyjoy, Joffrey and two new gingers, Ygritte the Second and Tormund Giantsbane. 

Ygritte and Tormund


His other girlfriend, Jon Snow, has turned all broody and is currently sitting on nine eggs fertilised by none other than 'imself.

He’s a bit of a lad with the ladies even though smells like a petting zoo and kicks them in the gizzards when they take his bread.

Speaking of the rustic life, I’ve seen about a million cows this week and killed a plethora of cane toads and one silly unfortunate bird who failed to see my car until too late.

R.I.P inattentive bird; I felt sick to my stomach for half an hour after I hit it.

The road leading into the country town I work at is highly susceptible to flooding and this week I found myself taking a rural detour adding another 25 minutes to my already lengthy journey. On Monday I didn’t realise the road was blocked so I had to backtrack which meant my commute to work took three, fudging, ashmole, bastard hours.

I have to divert to a grazing community where it’s so rough the school zone speed limit is 80 kms an hour. I wish I was joking.

Country kids are very tough and can run pretty fast apparently.

We had a twilight meeting at school that night too so I had to drive home along an unfamiliar, one lane country road in the fudging dark. 

It took eleven One Direction songs on my USB just to get to a vaguely urban area with one flickering street light. 

As if that wasn’t punishment enough, when I finally reached the foot of our slippery, twisting mountain road, it began raining heavily and when I at last reached the summit, the cloud cover was so thick I couldn’t see more than two metres in front of me.

I’m starting to think someone wants me dead.

Is God punishing me for taking sneaky looks at FB?.

The boss at work suggested I check the local council Facebook page to check for road closures. But I told her that since I’ve given up FB for Lent, she would have to do it for me and ring me by 6:30am. She directed me to the Bureau of Meteorology instead.

My daughter Lulu has been trying to bait me to break my FB promise by posting extremely provocative taunts online. My friend Kathy from 50 Shades of Age has also been tagging me with adorable Chihuahua posts. 

You’ll be pleased to know that I have remained resolute (except for very quick peeks). I just get Scotto to comment on my behalf.



Go on… try to tempt me to post on FB. I bet you can’t.

Randy Rooster!