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Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Some People Excel At Cock Collars And Some Don't - Which One Are You?

I’ve given up my personal Facebook page for Lent after the disgraceful post I accidentally put on my dear friend, Alana’s Facebook feed.

It was the least I could do. I just don’t trust FB anymore.

Facebook is the new Satan.

Anyway, yesterday, when I was at the new and lovely Catholic school I work at, waiting for my class to line up, one of the teachers squirreled over to me and furtively informed me that I should most definitely consider purchasing a ‘Cock Collar’.

I choked back the scream.

“Don’t Google it,” she warned. “But apparently a Chinese woman in Brisbane sells them.”

Naturally, I was super pumped to get home and inform Scotto that we needed to buy a Cock Collar.

Disappointingly, he was nonplussed.

“Yeah, Pinky,” he drawled. “Someone already mentioned that to me today, too.”

It seems EVERYONE here knows about Cock Collars.

So now I have to source a Cock Collar without Googling it.

I can just picture me wandering in to Target and asking the pimply faced attendant if they have any Cock Collars.

Why is life so fudging hard?

P.S. We need a cock collar for our spiteful and detestable Pekin rooster who has begun crowing (as well as kick-boxing the hens in the fanny at every opportunity) and the only people who are willing to adopt him want to kill him and eat him.

Do you know where I can buy a Cock Collar?

P.P.S. I'm still trying out the title generator on Google.