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Monday, October 3, 2016

Come Meet the Locals on Tamborine Mountain


So... we've been living on Tamborine Mountain for seven months and we haven't gone bonkers yet despite everyone's predictions. 

Mind you, apart from our lovely neighbours, we haven't really made any friends so today we thought we'd take a stroll around the village and attempt to strike up an acquaintance or two. 

I must say... they weren't a very talkative bunch.


There was Pam the artist who ignored us as she was busy playing Pokemon Go and couldn't tear herself away from her art.




There was Bill (or Ben... not sure) who kept asking us if we had any weed...



We came upon a dragon with bloodshot eyes who kept puffing smoke and I really began to wonder about what the locals are growing in their fields.




This family were friendly but haven't seemed to have grasped the whole engineering aspect of train tracks...





This girl captured my heart with her pink hair but I think she might need to think about switching nail salons.



This is actually my dentist. We have a love-hate relationship but let's just say I hope he and his family enjoy their holiday in the Bahamas on me.





This is Alice who was waiting outside the dentist to have her braces fitted. She can't afford a car anymore because of the expensive dental work so she has to catch the bus. There are no buses here but I didn't tell her because I didn't want to upset her what with her looking as though she might have underlying anger issues.





This is the guy waiting outside the dentist for when you don't pay your bill. He's called the EXTRACTOR. He's quite nice when you get chatting.




This lady, Glenda, is what happens when you drink far too many Chardonnays at Clancy's Irish Restaurant and then irresponsibly get on your broom to fly home. 





 This is the local alcoholics anonymous rep coming to invite Glenda to a meeting.





This is Glenda's mother coming to pick her up. She'd been babysitting Glenda's kids last night and had them come with her in the back seat to see what a disgrace their mother is.






This is Glenda's friend, Mabel, who she'd been partying with last night. She had a really good time at Clancy's. "Life's too fudging short, you losers!" I believe were her last words as she plunged towards the ground at 150 kilometres an hour.




This is a local real estate agent. His clothing reveals just how tough the property market is at the moment.





This suave lady's man is our local book worm who sits outside the library. He told me that he once had a one night stand. But his books wouldn't all fit on it.




This is Con the Fruiterer who is hungover from his night at Clancy's where he'd whooped it up with a couple of wild women. He wondered how they felt this morning. He hoped they felt better than him.




Meet our Vet. He's treating this cow for mastitis and mad cow disease.





They do serve crow at this cafe, believe it or not. But they call it chicken on the menu. Jokes. 




It was a warm day so Scotto sat down with a couple of locals.





 I'm glad to see ET found his way home to his gingerbread house.






This is caring Carla from the RSPCA.  She wonders why the entire community seems to have such a murderous hatred towards crows,




These people were just down the road from Clancy's Irish Bar and still haven't made it home from the night before.




Ah. Me old mate from Mitre Ten. These blokes were the first lovely people we met on the mountain when we went up looking for snake proof chicken wire and they laughed and laughed at us. "Our mountain snakes eat chicken wire for breakfast," they mocked.




This is what happens when you swallow water melon seeds. Don't do it kids!






This is Tammy the local tourist guide looking glamorous as usual. 






This guy is a patient waiting outside the doctor's surgery. He'd been at Clancy's last night too and had fallen off a table whilst trying to simultaneously dance with Glenda and Mabel and play the tin whistle.





 Scarecrow fail.







This guy was waiting for a Tarot reading. He'd met a couple of fun chicks at Clancy's last night and wanted to know which one he should ring for a date.






Master chef of desserts this guy is. I could tell by his moustache and his OUTRAGGGGEOOUS French accent (plus the ice-cream he's holding).





These guys are tourists up from the coast visiting the Monkey Tree Bar on Gallery Walk. 






The family resemblance is uncanny... I think it's the eyes.







Hay baby!





This guy wanted a hug from everyone who walked past.





This chef went mad so they shot his legs off and now he has to ride around on a wine cask in fields of lilac. 






This is a scarecrow of a crippled Dachshund.





This is the dachshund the scarecrow was modelled on... Andrew Morris.(That's his actual name). I know. Awwww.



This is the mayor of Tamborine Mountain. 





Naturally there were shenanigans going on at the Brewery where some poor avocado farmer had been abducted by a giant crow. I don't blame the crow what with the price of avocados these days.




This is Jack, one of the local lads. He works at the local nursery and specialises in growing legumes.




And last but not least we bumped into Molly, the St Bernard's Hotel mascot with her new little companion. 
Of course we had to drop in for a drink after all that walking.

This is all part of the Tamborine Mountain Scarecrow Festival which was held this weekend. 

Good wholesome fun!