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Thursday, May 5, 2016

Strange Things Said in My Drama Classroom

John Cena
 Image Credit

Teacher: Right. Does everyone remember which fruit they’re supposed to be?

Students: Yeeeeeesssss, Mrs Poinker!

Teacher: Good, let’s start the game.

Teacher: Wait! Stop! You’re supposed to be a mango, young man. Why are you being a nectarine?

Boy Student: John Cena!

Teacher: What did you just say?

Boy Student: John Cena! John Cena!

Why do you keep shouting, John Cena?

Boy Student: Because he’s a WWE champion.

Teacher: So what? Don’t yell out silly things in class. Now be sensible and act like a mango like I told you to.


Teacher: Well you have to do well in school, be respectful and get good marks to be a WWE champion, so for now you have to be a mango.

Boy Student: (wrestling another student to the floor) Can I be an orange instead?

Teacher: No. Get off the floor. I’m writing your name on the board. You can stay with me at lunch time.

Boy Student: That’s not my name.

Teacher: (confused as not quite au fait with all 700 children’s names yet and pauses with whiteboard marker in mid-air)

Well, what is your name?

Boy Student: John Cena!

Other students: His name is Rasputin, Mrs Poinker.

Teacher: (finishes writing ‘Rasputin’ on board then turns back to the class)

Why do you have a tissue sticking out of both of your ears, Lillith?

Lillith: (shrugs).

Teacher: Take them out and put them in the bin.

Lillith: (coming back from the bin and wailing loudly) Rasputin just called me an idiot.

Rasputin: No, I didn’t. She called me a loser first!

Lillith: You took my chair!

Teacher: Go back to your seat and I’ll talk to him at lunch time. Are you supposed to be a banana or a watermelon, Lillith?

Lillith: (Picks leftover tissue from ear) I fink I’m an apricot.

Teacher: We didn’t have any apricots. Does anyone remember which fruit Lillith is supposed to be?

Students: Nooooooo, Mrs Poinker.

Teacher: Does anyone remember what fruit they are?


Teacher: Okay. Forget the fruit. We’ll start again and be vegetables, and this time, try to concentrate. If I tell you you’re a cabbage then try to remember that you’re a cabbage.

Rasputin: This game’s boring. Can we play WWE Championships instead?

Teacher: It’s only BORING because you keep interrupting and we can’t get started, Rasputin. Go and sit in the corner. I've had enough.

Rasputin retires to the corner of the room and wrestles happily with himself until the end of the lesson.

The rest of us play the game of Fruit Salad in the guise of vegetables.


Could someone please send me a large sum of money so I can give this game away? If not, why?