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Saturday, December 3, 2016

We Live in a Simulation

You’ve heard about how our world’s leading scientists are saying that there’s a 99% (it could be 90% or 50% I’m not sure) we are living in a simulation. 

In other words, the world we live in is merely a computer game.

This idea fascinated me. I mean to say, what the hell? Someone else is dressing me every day? It would be like living in SIMS City. Someone else decides what hairstyle I have and what I wear every day. God I wish it was true, so many less choices to make.

So after fixatedly researching quite a lot about it on the Internet and having numerous fights with Scotto because I wouldn’t emerge from my rabbit hole on the Internet to contest him in The Chase at 4:30 every evening, I came to a conclusion.

(Yes, Scotto and I zealously compete when watching The Chase every afternoon but it invariably ends in a fight because he wins and then I argue that he’s answering too quickly with wrong answers denying me the opportunity to get in with the correct answer and … you know the rest.)

My ruminations regarding the theory that we’re living in a simulation gave me an idea. Every time I am on the Internet there’s a glitch. Either my mouse won’t work or the page won’t load or it’s going slow… or something. 

Computers are unreliable.

I think if we are a simulation of the entire universe then there must be glitches, right?

So I looked up to the skies and asked for a glitch. 

I begged, I prayed, “Dear Controller, please show me a glitch!” 

Scotto did too because after listening to me in the car for 30 minutes raving on about living in a simulation I had him convinced (or brainwashed/nagged to death) that we are, indeed, holograms.

The very next day I received a Facebook message. 

That’s not unusual, I know.

But this Facebook message was from a very dear friend who died many years ago.

“That’s a sick joke, Pinky,” I hear you say.

It’s not a joke.

I did.

I know it sounds ridiculous but I really did.

So that was my glitch.

We live in a simulation.

All I can say is, I wish my controller would give me a better hairdo. 

And maybe make me a bit thinner.

P.S. I’m not going nuts or bullshitting. Can someone talk me out of this, please.

Also, have you experienced any glitches?