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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Pinky's Conspiracy Theories

After last night’s expose on cats I thought I’d check the Internet this afternoon to see if Mr Google had ranked my post at all. 

Well guys… it seems like I’m not the only individual to come to the conclusion that cats are extra-terrestrial. When I typed in “cats are aliens”, a whopping 10 200 000 results came up. I must have been hiding in a closet somewhere when this particular conspiracy theory was trending. 

Pinky’s post was ranked on page nine so I guess that’s not bad considering the volume of competition out there.

I do love a good conspiracy theory.

A few years ago I joined the The Flat Earth Society for a laugh.

The website’s mission statement describes how for years the world has been duped into believing our earth is round when in actual fact the earth is flat. The society’s head honchos back this up with ‘scientific data’. It’s all tongue in cheek and poking fun at the bizarre rubbish espoused by the multitude of nut bags out there.

There are some even weirder conspiracies around though.

# Redheads are the offspring of aliens because they all look alike.

This is my mate Greggles…

And this is Ed Sheeran...

Go figure... (I'll be in a sh#t load of trouble for that).

# The anti-Christ is among us.

Yes… it’s the producers of reality television turning our brains into porridge.

# Sonny Bono was murdered on the ski slopes.

Who’s Sonny Bono again?

# All the really famous people in the world (even the Royal family and key role players in political parties) are just disguised ‘Lizard People’ who normally live underground. They’re deviously plotting to take over the world.
                          Ric Okasek: Lead singer of the Cars!
I know...not nice Pinky!

# The Queen ordered the MI5 to kill Princess Diana…

Think about it. If Princess Diana married Dodi Fayed the queen would have been able to send grandsons Harry and William into Harrods for some brilliant discounts, so that just doesn’t make any sense at all.

# The Moon landing was fake.

Well, my dear old departed Grandad advocated this theory but he also supported the view that Harold Holt was kidnapped by Chinese spies in a submarine so I’m not sure how reliable he was.

# Michael and La Toya Jackson are the same person.

Yeah? So what? Donny and Marie Osmond were the same person weren’t they?