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Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Pinky Discovers Familiarity Breeds Contempt!


The word “blog” is a truncated version of “web log”. A log is a journal… a diary of thoughts, events and disclosure. It’s for this reason, despite some hesitance; I feel it is perfectly okay to write about a surprising and unwelcome revelation regarding myself that has recently and decisively come to light.

I’m tactless, insensitive, brash and oblivious to the feelings of and subjective injury I inflict on others.

Many years ago when I worked as a Sales Executive for a hotel chain I befriended Cathy, a secretary to the Banquet Manager. 

We’d been casual friends for about a year and it was commonplace for me to pop downstairs to her desk and engage her in comical banter, to-ing and fro-ing as you do. As her birthday was coming up I thought it might be a nice gesture to buy her a birthday card and present it to her with my best wishes.

The card I chose was a droll but comical one with a picture of a wild eyed, outrageously overdone drag queen on the front blowing out a candle. It had “Happy Birthday You Crazy Bitch” on the front which I found to be mildly hilarious and I wrote a nice message inside the card and popped in a chocolate.

Leaving it on her desk in her absence I went on my merry way hoping she’d appreciate what I believed was a thoughtful gesture.

I couldn’t have been more wrong if I’d presented a birthday card to Martin Luther King Jnr with a photo of the Ku Klux Klan blowing out candles on a cake in the shape of a noose.

“Pinky I need to talk to you urgently,” hissed the Banquet Manager closing the door to his office firmly.

Apparently Cathy had found what I thought was an innocently silly card to be distastefully offensive and had put in a formal complaint about me. I was severely rapped over the knuckles for my odious choice of birthday greeting and Cathy never spoke to me again averting her eyes whenever I walked into the room.

Now many of you may be nodding in agreement right now and questioning whether or not you should be reading the blog of such an inappropriate and hateful person such as Pinky, but to be honest, at the time I was reeling in shock, hurt and bewilderment.

It was a freaking joke for Pete’s sake. A playful humorous joke and no more.

Just recently I found myself in the exact same situation. It seems for the last few months Pinky has been making what she thought were light-hearted comments to someone she thought she was close to. It seems she was wrong again and instead of the recipient believing my jokey comments were all in the name of good humour, the victim of my verbosity has been silently stewing in resentment until the coffee percolator finally blew its lid and scalding liquid has spewed forth blistering Pinky’s sense of reality.

Despite attempts at an apology Pinky has once again been given a serve and is now questioning whether she should ever speak out loud again… to anyone.

How do I know if I’m being overly familiar? Invasive? Impolite? Inappropriate?

Am I suffering some sort of deficiency in conversational subtlety? Just like an immature child, or someone on the Autism Spectrum am I incapable of discerning other people’s feelings adequately?

Or is it that some people need to grow a thicker skin?

What do you think?