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Sunday, February 23, 2014

What if Abbot makes us all live like Old Age Pensioners?

                                       What Pinky would look like as a pensioner.

If our Prime Minister, Mr Abbott is suggesting the S.P.C. workers drop their yearly income by $20 000 - $30 000 (lowering some workers wages to $33 000 p.a. in order to save the company), what’s next?

Teachers? Nurses? Tradies? Shop Assistants?

It’s a bit brazen for someone who earns a reputed $340 000 a year don't you agree?

If my pay packet dropped by $20 000 a year my life would transform considerably; in fact I’d have to live like an old age pensioner.

With this in mind, Scotto and I decided to spend our “date day” on a sort of budget; pretend we were old aged pensioners and see how it turned out.

Normally we’d ask one of the kids to drop us into the city for our epicurean odyssey but as no Poinker teenagers were to be found on Saturday morning we decided a taxi, about a fifty buck fare, was far too extravagant and we should catch a bus. 

We sat in the sun at the bus stop for at least twenty minutes with our innards cooking in the steamy heat and just like a lettuce leaf in a lunchbox left in the sun, Pinky’s carefully blow-dried hair wilted, sticking to her forehead in long, greasy strands.

If I was a pensioner I’d have a neat, grey perm though so I suppose the dripping tendrils wouldn’t be as noticeable.

Scotto had suggested we drop in and check out the latest installation at the Art Gallery as firstly, it’s free and secondly, it was still too early to have a glass of wine as the only bus we could catch had us in the city before noon.

The last exhibition we went to was outstanding so I was looking forward to it. Little did I know but Scotto had cunningly hoodwinked me by neglecting to mention the gallery was currently hosting a Lego display. Sharing the usually peaceful gallery with a multitude of squabbling rug rats was not the cultural event I’d had in mind. I nearly left him in the playroom but he was too tall to be allowed in.

             The Millennium Falcon (according to Star Wars expert Scotto)

Once Scotto’d had his fill of geekism we strolled across the bridge to the Yacht Club for lunch.

Just when I thought we'd escaped my husband's youthful fantasies I then had to wait inside by myself for a good ten minutes when someone noticed the chef's car parked outside... dammit! 

                           "KITT" from Knight Rider

Noticing the Yacht Club members' prices for meals were five dollars cheaper, it was clearly imperative we join up immediately. 

That’s what pensioners do isn’t it? 

Look for the bargains? Join clubs? 

At fifty dollars a year membership fee, I’d recoup most of that by bringing my kids here for dinner in one night. It knocked ten dollars off our meal bill there and then!

Despite developing seasickness by merely standing on a pier, Pinky is now a card-carrying member of the Yacht Club.

Inspired by this turn of events we crossed back over the bridge after lunch to join the local Rugby League club and have a bit of a spin on the pokies since that seemed a very pensioner-like thing to do.

Three minutes later, when we’d been stripped of our ten dollar futures investment we decided to head on over to the beer garden across the bridge where our friends, Dolly, Julie and Val were ensconced. 

It was time for a bit of a turn on the dance floor to the elderly band, 'The Reclining Rockers' who cater especially to the hipsters. When I say “hipsters” I mean people who’ve undergone hip replacements.

The ambulance is always on standby in case someone becomes overexcited and throws their back out whilst jiving to Status Quo’s, “Roll Over and Let Me In”.

Before long it was time to farewell our mates and catch the late bus home.

                             Scotto bidding Dolly an affectionate farewell...

All up the cost of the day was a $6.00 return bus fare, $10 pokie fee and a $12.00 meal of fish and chips each. That sounds reasonable for a pensioner’s all-day outing, doesn’t it?

Add in the drinks and membership fees though and we may have to start thinking about re-mortgaging the house.

Linking up with Grace for FYBF!