Pinky's Book Link

Monday, October 27, 2014

Pinky's Baby Shock!!!

Relax, I’m not preggers. I just wanted to see if you’d do what I did when I saw these headlines.

I was standing in the checkout queue at Coles when I spotted these two magazines and out of idle curiosity had to have a peek.

Nicole Kidman

The Bachelor

The Bachelor and his lady aren’t pregnant. They are thinking that one day they may have a baby together. SHOCK!!!

Nicole isn’t pregnant either but merely, according to a ‘source’, thinking about having a baby after the emotional upheaval of her father’s death. SHOCK!!!

Someone should take those magazines to task. It’s cheating. 

I would never do that.

But it started me wondering how I’d feel if at my cobwebbed age I found out I was miraculously ‘with child’.

So… I made a list.


Maybe, just maybe, this one would love me.

I’d be famous and be interviewed on Sunrise, possibly The Project and have my photo in the Sunday Mail.

Fifty-four year old sex maniac falls pregnant!!

When I ran out of disposable nappies for the baby I could substitute my incontinence pads (now necessary after carrying a foetus on top of my antique bladder for nine months).

I could have my five adult children take turns for babysitting duties.

I’d get maternity leave for two years. Yippee! No work!

I’d qualify for the Family Tax Benefit again.

I’d have something interesting to blog about for a change.

My teeth and the baby's would be falling out at the same time which would save the tooth fairy some petrol.
I’d be forced to give up alcohol which could only be a good thing for my liver.


Everyone would think I was the kid’s grandma (or possibly grandfather).

I’d have to give the kid a name with weird spelling, like Aenybelll or Ptymothee, so it would fit in with the other kids at Prep.

My bladder would probably fall out or spontaneously disintegrate.

My kids would never speak to me again they’d be so ashamed.

My other baby might get jealous and bite the new baby.

Pablo the Chihuahua

I’d be too tired to blog or do anything really.

I’d be applying for Family Tax Benefits the same time as the Old Age Pension and I’d be investigated by the Tax Department.

I’d have to watch The Wiggles again.

I’d have to give up alcohol.

Lucky it won't happen eh?