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Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Are you Touchy-Feely?

So... we teachers are back at school but the kids aren't and we’re being subjected to the usual professional development torture.

We had a really dynamic, interesting guest speaker today but naturally it didn't go without a hitch. I happened to be sitting beside my annoying friend, Kyles and I began to feel a mite wary when the morning session began with a general atmosphere of overt bonhomie during the joyous introduction.

“They’d better not fudging make us hold hands or anything,” I hissed at Kyles. “I hate that schmaltzy feel good, 'love your colleagues' stuff.”

“I know! No way I’m holding hands with you!” she replied tartly. “Gawd knows what I’d catch.”

Sure enough, we had to do a sort of sweaty, hand holding thing… whilst singing to each other and gazing into each other’s discomfited faces trying desperately not to giggle inappropriately.

During the proceeds of the day several volunteers were called upon to get up and do stuff in front of the collection of our peer group of ninety teachers… embarrassing stuff.

I saw our P.E. teacher, Alan, two rows in front of me, shrinking down in his seat trying to be inconspicuous when several males were called up.

“Alan!” I shrilled. “Get up!"

He shrivelled even lower into his seat and I could see the top of his head turning a deep shade of scarlet. He turned around in his seat and gave me a death stare

“Alan! Alan! Get up! Alan! Alan! Alan! Al! Alan!” I relentlessly pursued him.

His face was buried in his hands.

“Alan! Alan! Get up! Alan! Al!”

I kept at him like that stupid squirrel video...

He didn’t get up to volunter after all my insistence. 

Just like me, I don’t think Alan likes being the centre of attention.

I’m expecting to get a really crap job at the swimming carnival in February.

How do you feel about touchy-feely stuff?