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Monday, March 23, 2015

How I Tricked My Husband!

Christian Bale as Moses

We watched the movie, Exodus (the new one starring Christian Bale) on Saturday after I arrived home from my despicable day at work (when I really should have been lolling in bed, semi-naked and eating peeled grapes instead).

When I say ‘we’ watched it, I mean Scotto, because I was busy on my laptop. 

The only bit of the movie I wanted to see was where Moses parts the Red Sea because that was the best part in the Charlton Heston one. 

I was very pleased to see there were no rock monsters a la Russell Crowe’s ‘Noah’ but I was really more enthralled in trying to think of amusing things to write on Twitter so I decided to watch it vicariously, through my husband.

Run Rusty! Run!

I kept looking up and asking in an irritating, whiny voice,

“Is he there yet?”

“No” (Scotto)

“Is he there yet?”


“Is he there yet?”

Scotto became quite frustrated with me, eventually turning around and snarling, “Pinky! If I have to start this movie again, I will!”

Moses eventually arrived at the Red Sea and I have to admit it wasn’t disappointing. It was more of a tsunami than a ‘parting’ as such, but scientifically believable, unlike the Heston version.

We went to bed fairly early and I woke up, eyes alert and bulging at 7:00 am, which annoyed me since it was a Sunday morning and all.

Scotto was turned away from me in bed but Pablo the Chihuahua sensed I was awake and started squirming and writhing in his Mexican bean fashion. I glared at him because I didn’t want to be the one to have to take him down for wee wees, so I did the unspeakable.

I licked my finger applying a generous quantity of moisture and poked Scotto on the back of his baldy noggin, pretending to be Pablo’s wet nose.

It worked.

Scotto rolled over and groaned and Pablo, like a Machiavellian puppet jumped all over his face whilst I played dead, even affecting an artificial snore to add authenticity to my pretended coma-like state.

Later, I received my coffee in bed with as much grace as I could manage under the circumstances.

The rule in our house is: 
He who gets up first brings the coffee.
Who gets the morning coffee in your household?

P.S. Sorry about the semi-naked image of me eating peeled grapes but I suffered when I had to get up early on Saturday and I feel you too, should have to suffer in some small way.

Linking up with Jess at Essentially Jess for #IBOT