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Saturday, January 28, 2017

Stick That in Your Lunchbox Australia

26 January 2017 (Australia Day)

12:30pm: Scotto and Pinky share a civilised Australia Day lunch on pool deck with friends. Alcohol is sipped sparingly as refined friends don’t drink much.

10:00pm: Scotto and Pinky sing loudly to Australian rock anthems (focussing on Midnight Oil, Daryl Braithwaite, Wolfmother and Kids in the Kitchen). 

Dear friends had left our company six hours previously and any restrained moderation regarding sobriety went pear-shaped soon after.

10:30pm: Pinky sends out a lot of very silly tweets and Facebook statuses. Gets unfollowed by many.

11:00pm: Pinky and Scotto sing every Crowded House song to be found on Youtube and unanimously decide that New Zealand is merely just another Australian state so Neil Finn (et al.) is still within the general theme of the national day of celebration.

11:59pm: Pinky notices it’s almost midnight and screams at Scotto for not warning her it was getting so late. Scotto comments that as it’s the first week of the school year she is unlikely to be called in to work as a relief teacher tomorrow.

27 January 2017

8:55am: Phone rings and Pinky is called in to work at a nearby school as some other teacher has possibly enjoyed a far too joyous, raucous Australia Day as well.

9:00am: Pinky staggers around kitchen throwing together two wads of stale bread and cheese whilst simultaneously cleaning teeth, slurping coffee and dabbing the previous day’s eye makeup and armpits with a Nivea wipe.

9:30am: A sweaty Pinky arrives at small country school and is directed to the only non-airconditioned classroom in the establishment. Feels a bit hungry and queasy as missed out on breakfast.

10:50am: Pinky enviously observes students during morning break eating their lunch whilst she nibbles on hastily prepared musty bread and mouldy cheese sandwich. 

Notices one eight year old boy brought half a watermelon, three times the size of his head, for morning tea.

“Do you have a spoon for that?” Pinky asked cautiously. For all she knew they just eat it like a corn cob in the country.

“Oh yeah!” boy suddenly remembers and runs back to his bag for a spoon. Pinky thinks about asking him if he has a second spoon and if he'd consider sharing.

I0:55am: Pinky spies another boy eating an avocado as if he were eating an apple, skin and all. And yet another kid devouring a juicy mango like an expert and merely tearing the skin back with bare hands as he slurps on it. Another boy has ripped into a Dragon Fruit and has purple gunk all over his pants and shirt.

11:00am: Pinky ponders on the over-processed, sliced up delicacies arranged in designer lunch boxes which she usually sees kids bring to school; the fancy stainless steel sectioned lunchboxes containing sushi, cubed honeydew, diced vegetables and hummus, deconstructed organic lettuce and endangered species, hard-boiled quail eggs.

11:05am: Pinky decides more mothers should be sending kids to school with leftover sausages, a lump of bread and an entire rock melon which they have to use a sharp stone to break open.

Country kids seem a lot less precious. I suspect they pick their food from trees on their way to school.

Pinky loves country kids.