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Monday, January 7, 2013

Teenagers Behaving Badly Part 1- Pinky's 10 Hints re Teenage Boys


1. When your teenage boy is having ANOTHER twenty minute shower and using up all the hot water and you hear him make a strange sound, don’t call out, “Are you alright sweetie?”. Just pretend you didn’t hear anything.

2. Teenage brothers will argue, punch, yell, swear and generally act as if they hate each other’s guts, but the truth is the real enemy is you, the parent, and they will lie through their teeth to protect each other from you.

3. Teenagers really hate to be seen in public with you and if they are somehow tricked into going shopping with you they will walk four metres behind you. When you have bought what they wanted you to buy for them, they will ask for the car keys because they would rather sit waiting in a hot car than be seen with you.

4. When teenage boys send text messages back to you (especially if they end with ‘luv u mum x’) they are up to something diabolical. The general rule seems to be- ‘ Ignore Mum’s texts unless you have something to hide’. If they tell you where they are going before you have actually asked them... they probably aren’t really going there at all.

5. When they ask you if they can stay at a friend’s house overnight, volunteer the Mother’s mobile number for you to check, then you ring the number and speak to the Mum and she sounds very, very young(almost like a teenager), it is a set up.

6. If you go away for a short break and leave the kids alone you need to do the following; call all your friends and relatives, to drive by the house and see how many cars are parked outside and also hire a security firm to check the house each night at random to make sure there are no parties going on. It will be worth the money when you get home and your house has not been invaded by 280 Facebook friends.

7. If you do you away, when you come back and you see a strange, clear latex looking thing on the laundry floor, call in the bio-hazard unit, do not pick it up or you will be sorry. The same thing applies if you see bed sheets in the wheelie bin. Just walk away.

8. When you get an anonymous letter in the mail warning you that your sixteen year old son has been seen wandering the streets in a drunken state with a mob of louts, don’t assume it must be some spiteful ex-girlfriend or nasty neighbour trying to cause trouble, because you know your son has been safe in bed by 11 o’clock each night. He has clearly been sneaking out so set a booby trap and catch him red handed because he will never admit it.

9. When your son is picked up by a mate to go for a ten minute drive, some sort of mischief is afoot. Let your imagination go wild but I’m thinking it’s something illegal.

10. Teenage boys think of their parents as boring, easily deluded, out dated robots who are there to provide shelter, food, cable television, internet access, cleaning services, taxi service, air-conditioning and lighting that never needs to be turned off and, oh yes, money.