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Thursday, March 13, 2014

Pinkypedia! Facts You Don't Really Need to Know!

There are many questions in life we all need to be answered so I thought I might start my own online encyclopaedia.

Please feel free to add any questions you have in the comments.

How long is a piece of string?

Double half its length. [1]

Why do dogs look like their owners?

This is a fallacy and it never happens. [2]

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Neither, it was the kid on the box of cornflakes holding the box with the photo of himself holding a box with a photo of himself holding a box with a photo of himself…. [3]

Why does the moon look so big in the sky sometimes?

It’s an optical illusion. When it’s close to the horizon you’re probably on your third of the evening's Chardy/Sav Blanc and it just appears to look bigger. [4]

Why does the weekend go so fast?

Seriously? The working week goes for five days and the weekend goes for only two. Five take away two is … hang on… seven take away two is… it‘s just not as long okay! [5]

Why is it so hard to lose weight?

Basically, it’s because food and wine are so bloody lovely. [6]

Why won’t my eyebrows grow back?

They’re afraid after what you did to them back in the late seventies. [7]

Why can’t I make a bowel movement?

Cheese on biscuits. [8]

Why is the sky blue?

Because it recently lost its job, had a baby and was disappointed when Breaking Bad finished. [9]

Why is my poop green?

Too many green cocktails at the St Paddy’s Day party. [10]

Why am I always tired?

Life. [11]

Why is my dog throwing up?

It ate four pig’s ears; its own and three belonging to the other dogs. [12]

How can I make my hair grow faster?

Go on school camp where you can’t shave your legs. [13]

Why do I always see the same time on the clock when I wake up in the middle of the night?

Your clock is broken. [14]

What is the smallest unit of life?

A mouse. Or maybe a flea [15]

Who is the most powerful Jedi?

Mr Spock because he was extremely logical. [16]

Why isn’t my wife talking to me?

Because she is busy writing rubbish on her blog and you should never disturb a genius. [17]

When is Pinky going to stop writing this utter garbage?

Now. [18]

Notes: [1] O’Reilly “Musings of a Male Primary Teacher” [2] Pinky Poinker “Living in Denial” [3] Pinky Poinker “Who’s Old Enough to Remember This?” [4] Pinky Poinker “A Brief History of Moon Facts”[5] Pinky Poinker “The Time Traveller's in Strife” [6] Pinky Poinker “Body for Fun” [7]
Pinky Poinker “Raised Eyebrows” [8] Pinky Poinker “The Irritable Bowel and You” [9] Pinky Poinker “Popular Astrology  Astronomy [10] "Pinky Poinker [“The Irritable Bowel and You Part Two” [11] Pinky Poinker “Burning the Incense Stick at Both Ends” [12] Pablo the Chihuahua “The Hog Whisperer” [13] Pinky Poinker “ One Time on Band Camp” [14] Pinky Poinker “The Poinkerville Horror” [15] Pinky Poinker “The Voyage of the Beagle Chihuahua” [16] Pinky Poinker “The Star Wars Killajoy” [17] Pinky Poinker “It’s Probs Time to Cook Dinner” [18] Scotto  "About to Eat the Crutch From a Low Flying Crow”.

Linking up with Grace at With Some Grace for FYBF