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Wednesday, October 21, 2015

I Get that Sexual Feeling

I was singing my head off to “Sexual Feeling” on the radio as I drove to work this morning, when I suddenly noticed out of the corner of my eye, a large grey truck driving in the lane beside me.

I was travelling about 20 km under the speed limit (because I can’t drive fast, sing and retrieve a Nicorette from the packet in my handbag at the same time) and felt a bit wary of the big truck moving at the exact same speed on my right.

Is it a copper? I wondered. Is it a road rage freak and he’s stalking me because I accidentally cut him off when I was busy turning up the volume on the radio and digging between the seat for Nicorettes?

I was too nervous to look over. I thought if I ignored him he’d speed up and leave me alone. I’m just a silly old woman after all. Silly old women cut people off all the time, don’t they?

This dramatically, frightening scene carried on for a few kilometres until I finally found the courage to glance over and noticed it was merely my twenty-two year old son Hagar, grinning and frantically waving at his dim-witted mother. He was on his way to work too, bless his heart.

They seem to be playing “Sexual Feeling” a lot on the radio and it’s often the last song I hear before I trot into the school to start my torturous day.

Naturally, I have that particular song as an ear worm all day.

The school groundsmen look at me funny when I’m standing at the staff room sink, swaying my hips and singing, “Sex- su- al Feeeelin” in a sultry Contralto as I stir my cuppa.

I’ll be sitting on the loo after the first bell and singing ‘When I get that feelin, I want sexual feeling’ in loud off key tones. 

God knows what the person in the next cubicle is thinking.

I have to force myself to hum it when I’m waiting for the kids to line up to go to the library. No need for them to hear the lyrics. It would be inappropriate and I don’t need to re-read the teacher’s manual to know that.

I only know two words of the song anyway. Sek-soo-allll Feeelin...

I have to na-na-na-na-na the rest of it. This makes it worse really because I just hum to myself, then suddenly burst out with a loud and sudden, SEXUAL FEEEELIN, startling innocent bystanders.

In typical commercial radio style, they seem to play it as I’m driving home as well, and I have to be extra careful when I arrive home because I don’t want to be giving Scotto false hope or anything.

My previous ear worm was a song they constantly played by Justin Bieber which had an annoying little electronic riff in it. 

Since I never know the words to songs, I’d just walk around all day imitating the riff in a high pitched, nasal twang and irritating the shit out of everyone, a bit like Justin really.

Now I suppose you’ve reached the end of your tether with this pointless drivel and are wondering where the hell this post is going.

That, my friend, is a very good question and I know not the answer.

But when I went searching for who has actually remade this golden oldie so I could embed it in this post in order to give you all an annoying earworm, I couldn’t find it for the life of me and do you want to know why?

Because it’s not fudging sexual feeling…. It’s sexual HEALING. Two words and I couldn’t even get them right.

Do you struggle to remember song lyrics? What's your latest ear worm?

Linking up with Grace from With Some Grace for #FYBF