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Thursday, January 14, 2016

Do You Like to Have the Last Word?

Scotto and I were watching a show on the telly where a kid refused to leave the cinema after the movie ended because he was waiting for his hero to come back to life. The cinema was empty except for him and his Dad.

“That’s like me and you when you make me sit and wait for the blooper outtakes to movies. The outtakes that never come,” I commented in a dry snarky tone. “It’s bloody embarrassing.”

“No,” he jovially replied. “Fifty per cent of the time they do end up showing outtakes.”

“Once they did,” I sniffed. “Once, about seven years ago, I think.”

“Fifty per cent of the time,” he snapped confidently. “Fifty per cent of the time they show them.”

“Once,” I sighed. “Once, they actually did.”

“Fifty per cent,” he exhaled, leaning over to pat the dog in a dismissive manner.

“Once,” I said quietly, with my head turned away towards the wall so he couldn't see my lips move.

“Fifty per cent,” he said, whilst badly attempting to disguise it with a cough.

“Once,” I whispered behind my hand, pretending to brush away a mozzie.

“Fifty per cent,” he moaned, pretending to stretch.

“Whatever,” I said. “You win.”

But he’s asleep beside me right now with his mouth open and drool trickling out his mouth so I guess I have the last word.

It was once that those outtakes appeared on screen whilst we sat in an empty cinema, alone… apart from the usher sweeping up popcorn. Once.

Do you wait for the outtakes at the end of a movie?