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Friday, January 29, 2016

I Touched Myself

One of my new year pledges to myself was to stop caring about what people think of me anymore, so when I was at a music trivia bingo night last week and the DJ asked who would sing, I Touch Myself, into the microphone for a free steak sandwich voucher, I put my hand up immediately.

I must have been pretty good because he gave me two free steak sandwich vouchers. 

My friend, Nettie was a bit disparaging and said if she’d done it she would have stood up and suggestively rubbed her hands all over her body but since she didn’t even put her hand up to volunteer, I’m suspecting she wouldn’t have done anything of the sort.

I don’t eat steak but that doesn’t matter. I did it and felt no remorse. In fact it was fun… it was liberating to put aside my self-consciousness and vanity for the sake of a good time. Plus I was a tiny bit pissed.

I gave the steak sandwich vouchers to my starving, student son, Thaddeus when he came over this week. He needs them more than me.

Earlier in the month, I also instigated a petition which resulted in a newspaper interview, two television interviews and two radio interviews. It was an unexpected blur of disconcerting unreality.

Was I nervous? Hell yeah, but I pushed through it because I felt passionate about the issue.

I didn’t watch myself on the telly at all or read the article too closely because I knew I’d be too self-critical. I tried not to read the huge amount of criticism on some social media sites or in the paper either. What would be the point? I believe I’m right so the knockers can get stuffed.

Of course I don’t expect everyone to agree with me but to actively close ones ears to facts and common sense is cheating one’s self.

The petition has been presented to council. I highly doubt anything will come of it but at least I tried to make a difference and I learned something.

I learned who is truly there for me, supporting me… and who isn’t.

I also learned that there are a lot of closed minded, negative, fault-finding people out there.

So many people are too ready to jump on an issue without really examining it. “Grabbing the shitty end of things” is how one friend described it perfectly.

The experience has taught me to stop and think before I make judgments. I’ve learned to tease things apart before I reject them. I’ll try not to instantly jump into a critical, dismissive, default mode.

So that was my January and I think it’s a good start.

What will February bring?

If I’m lucky I’ll live to ninety years of age. That gives me roughly 416 months left to live.

I won’t be wasting any of them.

P.S. I don't think I'm a great spirit or anything but there are a lot of mediocre minds out there, don't you think?