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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

How much sex is normal?

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Did you know that lions and tigers have sex over fifty times a day for four consecutive days?

It’s true. I saw it on a David Attenborough documentary on the telly last night.

“What’s wrong with you then?” I daringly challenged Scotto, who was sitting beside me on the couch, relaxed and enjoying a chilled Corona and corn chips.

Look at him!” Scotto spat his corn chips, pointing at the screen.

The exhausted tiger wallowed languidly in a creek, watching a wildebeest provocatively sauntering close by. The wildebeest was giving the tiger the finger.

“He’s too shattered to even bother chasing the deer thing! His willy’s probably burning like hell. He’s trying to cool it down in the water. You can see his face wincing!” Scotto choked on his beer.

Men! They have an excuse for everything!