You know what I mean; Signs of Getting Old, Signs you spend too much time blogging, Signs of Your Cat Being an Alien… that sort of rubbish.
Well today, I was feeling a tad lazy and thought I’d nick an idea from Google to satirise.
I typed in “Signs of a” just to see what Mr Google would throw up as the most popular searches and perhaps find inspiration with which to entertain you all.
In horrified fascination I went through the entire alphabet of what the top #4 most frequent searches by the global community are when looking for
“signs of…”
Autism, A heart attack, A stroke, Anxiety.
Breast cancer, Bipolar, Bowel cancer, Being pregnant
Cancer, Concussion, Cervical cancer, Cheating
Depression, Diabetes, Dehydration, Dementia
Early labour, Early pregnancy, Ectopic pregnancy, Emotional abuse
Food poisoning, Fatigue, Falling in love, Flirting
Gastro, Gestational diabetes, Going into labour, Gluten intolerance
Heart attack, High blood pressure, HIV, Heart problems
Iron deficiency, Internal Bleeding, Infection, Implantation
Jealousy, Judgement Day Jaundice, Jealousy in men
Kidney failure, Kidney infection, Kidney disease, Kidney stones
Labour, Lung cancer, Liver cancer, Leukemia
Miscarriage, Measles, Menopause, MS
Neglect, Nervous breakdown, Neurological dysfunction, Negative fluid balance
Ovulation, Ovarian cancer, Overtraining, Ovarian cysts
Pregnancy, Pneumonia, Prostate cancer, Parvo
Qiyamah (Day of Judgement), Qayamat (Doomsday), Q Fever, Qayamat already happened
Uti, Urinary infection, Uterine cancer, Underactive Thyroid
Vitamin D deficiency, Very early pregnancy, Vertigo, Vaginal Thrush
Worms, Whooping cough, Worms in kids, Wear
Xanax, Xanax addiction, Xanax overdose, Xylitol poisoning in dogs
Yeast infection, Your period, Your water breaking, Your first period
Zodiac, Zinc deficiency, Zinc Toxicity, Zodiac Dates
All I can say is, “Lighten the hell up, guys!”
I would have preferred to find “signs of…”
Autism, A heart attack, A stroke, Anxiety.
Breast cancer, Bipolar, Bowel cancer, Being pregnant
Cancer, Concussion, Cervical cancer, Cheating
Depression, Diabetes, Dehydration, Dementia
Early labour, Early pregnancy, Ectopic pregnancy, Emotional abuse
Food poisoning, Fatigue, Falling in love, Flirting
Gastro, Gestational diabetes, Going into labour, Gluten intolerance
Heart attack, High blood pressure, HIV, Heart problems
Iron deficiency, Internal Bleeding, Infection, Implantation
Jealousy, Judgement Day Jaundice, Jealousy in men
Kidney failure, Kidney infection, Kidney disease, Kidney stones
Labour, Lung cancer, Liver cancer, Leukemia
Miscarriage, Measles, Menopause, MS
Neglect, Nervous breakdown, Neurological dysfunction, Negative fluid balance
Ovulation, Ovarian cancer, Overtraining, Ovarian cysts
Pregnancy, Pneumonia, Prostate cancer, Parvo
Qiyamah (Day of Judgement), Qayamat (Doomsday), Q Fever, Qayamat already happened
Uti, Urinary infection, Uterine cancer, Underactive Thyroid
Vitamin D deficiency, Very early pregnancy, Vertigo, Vaginal Thrush
Worms, Whooping cough, Worms in kids, Wear
Xanax, Xanax addiction, Xanax overdose, Xylitol poisoning in dogs
Yeast infection, Your period, Your water breaking, Your first period
Zodiac, Zinc deficiency, Zinc Toxicity, Zodiac Dates
All I can say is, “Lighten the hell up, guys!”
I would have preferred to find “signs of…”
Alcohol’s Benefits
Beauty in the Fifth Decade
Calories are a Myth
Diets are Dangerous
Ears that stick out are an indicator of intelligence
Fairies are real and living in YOUR garden
Ghandi is alive and living in Queensland with Elvis
Hedonism is the latest trend
Ironing is a Dying Art
Junk Food can be good for you
KFC is made from rodents not chickens
Leaving things to the last minute is good for your health
Myer's having a 90% sale within the next week
Nits are reaching extinction levels
Old is the new young
Paleo diet makes people grow hair on their back
Quinoa is not actually supposed to be ingested
Rocket scientists aren’t that smart
Sanity is overrated
Telstra is closing down for good
UFOs are real
Vampire movies and TV shows are losing their appeal
Weather Forecasters being questioned on their credibility
X Factor courting 50+ contestants soon
Ying and Yang are really back to front
and finally…
Zombie movies are about to be banned in 196 countries.
Zombie movies are about to be banned in 196 countries.
Image credit: Scotto
