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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Three Hints on How to Keep a Secret

So... someone dear to you has told you a big, juicy, luscious secret

Nothing bad mind you… just a little piece of hush-hush they’ve entrusted you with. 

How do you resist the temptation to reveal your delicious, clandestine parcel of succulence? Here's some advice...

1. Whatever you do, when the subject comes up in conversation with a third party do not adopt a Sergeant Schultz accent and walk off saying, 
“I know nothink, I know nothink!”

It will immediately raise suspicion.

2.  If the person who told you the secret is not in the vicinity, do not deliberately bring his/her name up in the hope that some discerning person has picked up on something odd going on, merely to feed your smug wisdom. 

It will backfire when your face automatically assumes a superior expression, giving your insider-info savvy away and you will be inundated with twenty ‘yes or no’ questions. There will be no mercy. Fingernails will be torn from your fingers in attempts to extricate information.

# Do not cough loudly and ostentatiously stare at your feet when the secret-holder’s name comes up just to draw attention to the fact that you may KNOW something. 

Even though you haven’t quite done a little jig whilst singing “I know something that YOU don’t know!” your transfixed audience will catch on and drill you relentlessly until you explode and reveal all.

In other words… never tell Pinky a secret because she won’t be able to keep it.