Pinky's Book Link

Thursday, September 24, 2015

I'm Too Old for Birthdays Now.

I may be having a birthday tomorrow and it may be another hideously horrible birthday on the wrong side of fifty-four. What the hell? How did I get so damn old all of a sudden? 

My father will ring me tomorrow and he’ll quip cheerily, “How did I end up with such an old daughter?”

I’ll laugh in a high pitched, shrill cackle, and then I’ll purse my lips in an old woman grimace and stare at my reflection in the black television screen opposite my bed.

I look better in that reflection than I do in my saucepan lids when I’m bending over to get them out of my cupboard. I look much better in the empty, black screen than I do when I accidentally look at myself in my reversed phone camera, and I look a hell of a lot better than when I look at myself in the rear vision mirror in my car, with the light refracting from a multitude of angles and every surface vein looks like a lava tube frothing down the slopes of Mt Vesuvius.

Who cares though, really? I’m old. I’ve accepted it. Move on I say. I don’t care about how old or ugly everyone else is … so I’d better get used my own wizened face and learn to like it.

So… I’m not getting presents this year. Scotto and I made a pact not to buy presents this year because we have too many other expenses. He took me out to dinner tonight though.

My twenty-two year old son Hagar and his girlfriend, Meggles are springing for lunch tomorrow and my sister Sam shouted me lunch on Monday, so now I’ll just be decrepit AND fat.

There’s a special card I found in the letterbox yesterday from my mum and dad which I’m not opening until tomorrow but I felt it and I think there’s a gift card in it. That would be exciting but for the fact that Mum’s birthday is in a week and I still haven’t bought my Dad a father’s day present so I’ll probably use the voucher on buying them something.

That’s what being a grown up is all about I suppose. No more fun birthdays.

You know I’m just kidding… this is a very happy time for me.

My family and I are all healthy. That’s my primary worry in life.

We all have jobs, which many people don’t.

I am surrounded by people and animals who love me. Some people are very lonely you know. I’d hate to be lonely.

Love, self-sufficiency and health are the three most important things to me and I have them in abundance. How fortunate can I be?

You know what else I did? I wrote another fudging book. It’s a short, 26 000 word eBook called, “So You Want to Date a Teacher”.

At least tomorrow I’ll wake up knowing I’ve accomplished something worthwhile in my fighyrth-fdger years on this strange planet some of us call Earth (most of us actually).

I’m self-publishing it on Amazon and I’ll keep you posted as to when it will be available (it's a bit funny I think).

I still have the other 80 000 word manuscript I wrote at the beginning of the year but I’ll get back to that load of tripe when I’m ready.

Life is full of opportunity even when you think you’re too old. My grandfather started to learn how to play the piano (and succeeded) in his late eighties.

It’s never too late to have a go really, is it?

Serious question: Do you think the title of my eBook needs a question mark at the end?
Should it be, "So... You Want to Date a Teacher!" or "So You Want to Date a Teacher?"