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Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Thirty Days Hath Schleptember... hic!

Thirty days hath September

This poem helps you remember

If a month of abstinence you need to choose

February’s the shortest to cut down the booze.

Which is why I can’t understand why they have Ocsober in October, which has 31 days! 

I can tell you right now, September is not the month to give up the happy juice. It’s my birthday month in September, along with all the other people who were accidentally conceived during the festive season. September is a notoriously busy month for me.

Do you find that your life really picks up pace as your birthday approaches? It’s almost as if you’re hurtling towards a momentous crescendo in a classical orchestral overture and just as it reaches its climax everything is likely to explode like the Big Bang, splattering primeval paint all over your face.

Not only is my home in a complete state of disarray (with gritty, bare floor boards where Scotto ripped the carpet up, packing cases are taking over rooms like ticks on a dog, and a half polished floor necessitates the removal of shoes at the front door) BUT also, my classroom is in the exact same state of chaotic chaos.

Term three at school, means making paper mache, fudging volcanoes with endless strips of newspaper and floury glue splattered on desks, chairs and carpet, then having to put up with twenty-two volcanoes spread out in glorious bastardry on every counter top for weeks on end.

Mess and Chaos

Mrs Poinker slowly losing her mind!

Term three also means the annual Eisteddfod and the accompanying plethora of props and costumes filling the classroom. 

I don’t mean to boast but I do pretty well in the drama section of the Eisteddfod. I used to direct plays for other classes as well as my own.

In my first year at the school in 2005 my class placed 2nd; I was just warming up.

Boring Braggy Bit...

In 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010 I entered three plays in the same section of the primary school drama section and we placed first, second and third for five years in a row, obliterating the competition. Pretty awesome I think.

I got greedy in 2011 and split my own class into two plays. We were placed second and third. I was gutted.

In 2012, 2013 and 2014 I entered just my own class and we were awarded first place in each of those three years… in a row. There are usually only 5 or six other schools that enter, but even so. I’m pretty proud of my consistency.

Directing young kids in cheesy plays is pretty much the thing I do best.

This is my last year at my beloved school so you can imagine the pressure I’m putting on myself to bring home the bacon one final time. Not that anyone at school knows or cares about our achievement. I don’t think anyone has even noticed, such is the lack of appreciation for the dramatic arts in Australia. I wrote my honours thesis about the lack of drama tuition in the primary school and I still feel passionate about it.

My theory is this… generally the naughtiest kids in the class are the best at drama. They achieve success through the outlet they feel confident in and that starts a positive escalation in all the other areas of acadamia.

Anyway, no one listens to me, but you might remember the banana themed play  last year and the Pirate Extravaganza the year before... 

This year we’re doing Snow White and the Eleven Dwarfs. It sounds traditional but don’t worry, there’s a banana in it. 

Snow White chokes on a poison banana instead of an apple. 

Picture it.

I don’t think we’ll win it this year because I just bragged about my past triumphs and that’s how things usually work… you know, pride goeth before a cataclysmic fall and all that shite. Oh well.

But I'm interested to know from you, do you think drama should have a bit more importance in school with less of an emphasis on sport?