Pinky's Book Link

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Book Week Dress Up Parade and other days teachers dread


There are several days of the year when teachers are (more than usually) disinclined to drag themselves out of bed in the morning; days when we just know the kids are going to be even more highly strung than normal. 

Days when we are genuinely frightened to walk through those school gates.

Take rainy days for example. Our rainy season in Townsville coincides with the beginning of the school year providing ample opportunity for the under elevens to irrevocably ruin their brand new black leather shoes by ‘accidentally’ jumping in the ubiquitous puddles. 

The second there is a heavier than average deluge, twenty students will urgently need to go to the toilet so they can try out their massive umbrellas then return to the classroom sopping wet and shake themselves like puppies all over their brand new books. 

Lunchtimes are spent in the classroom where packets of Maggi noodles are spilt all over the carpet and crunched into the fibres with muddy feet. We don’t get lunch breaks on those days and one year the rainy season went on for two months. 
Teachers moved around the school like the walking dead; black shadows under their tortured eyes and twitching spasmodically like alcoholics going through withdrawal.

Windy days as well, are a teachers’ nightmare. I’m not sure why but the wind seems to blow right through the kids' ears stimulating the brain wiring and setting off unsavoury and unpredictable behaviour.

Tomorrow it’s dress-up day for National Book Week and we teachers nervously anticipate eight hundred over-excited, manic under-elevens to pour through the gates at eight-fifteen; outfitted as sword wielding pirates, fairies, various farm and native animals, aliens, Wimpy Kids and pretty much any book character they deem worthy of dressing up as. 

I can tell you this much, Pippi Longstocking, Little Red Riding Hood and Ben 10 will not be in any mood to learn their times tables.

Naturally the teachers are also expected to join in the craziness and wear a costume tomorrow and in my usual procrastinating style, I didn’t bother to attempt sourcing a costume until yesterday. I nicked into Spotlight on the way home from work and was devastated to discover empty costume racks. Apparently every single damn school in the city is holding a book character parade… who knew?

Sadly, all that remained on the rack was a ‘Naughty Nurse’, a ‘Sexy French Maid’ and an ‘Elvis’ costume.

Darn it! I thought. Totally inappropriate! 
Elvis never appeared in a children’s book...

After I’d paid for the nurse and maid costume, I noticed a discarded pair of devil’s horns sitting on the counter. Crap costumes are my specialty so I’m sure I’ll be able to transform them into something!
Guess who I’m going as?