Pinky's Book Link

Monday, August 5, 2013

Help Pinky Achieve World Domination

In January, at about the same time I began writing my blog, I read my ‘Annual Horoscope’ in the Sunday Mail.

“This year you will begin a new creative endeavour…” it began. “After throwing everything you have into this project, by August you will begin to reap dazzling and mind-blowing results. Indeed, your efforts may very well bring fame and adulation, and about time too, artistic Libra!”
That was enough celestial impetus for me. I could see it all clearly… the multi-million dollar book deal, the movie rights, the Oprah and Ellen interviews, the international tours, the “Pinky Doll”.

I’m going to be another Justin Beiber! I thought ecstatically…
but a bit menopausal, a bit jowlier, and with a pot belly, skinny legs and can’t sing.

Well guess what, oh “Spirits of the Zodiac”? It’s freakin August and I haven’t achieved world domination.

“There are still twenty-six days left in August, Pinky,” reminded a sanguine Scotto after patiently listening to me complaining bitterly for hours on end. “You could still do it!”

I read my stars in the Sunday Mail yesterday. “You may be moving house in the near future,” it pontificated, “Possibly to a smaller abode. Better start collecting cardboard boxes.”

WTF????? How can my future go from world recognition and adulation to shifting house?

So I’m a bit cranky about my lack of success and frankly I’ve been beginning to suspect I spend too much time on my laptop anyway.

Particularly when I find myself wiping down the kitchen counters with Pine-o-Clean, doing a robotic voice-over, “AVAST! ANTI-VIRUS DATABASE HAS BEEN UPDATED!”

But you can help me! If you haven't already liked Pinky Poinker on Facebook, please look to your right and click on the button! I'll make sure you get a free 'Pinky Doll' when I hit the big time!