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Sunday, July 20, 2014

Pinky's Tips for Giving a Speech at a 21st.

It was Meggles’ (Hagar’s girlfriend) twenty-first birthday shindig last night. 

Scotto (hubby) and I, were cordially invited to the party as was my daughter Lulu, because she happens to be besties with Meggles’ sister Rosie, and has always been an adoring fan of Meggles anyway.

                     (l-r) Pinky's thumb, Jen, Hagar and a harangued Lulu.

Lulu was given a grim lecture by her brother Hagar, about not drinking any alcohol as she’s still just shy of her eighteenth birthday. 

                     Lulu: I wonder if she'll give me her fake ID now? 
                             Meggles: 21 and hot! Buy me a shot!

I spent the night pulling Lulu’s Kleenex tissue dress down over her bottom every time I walked passed her and I think between us we managed to ruin any nefarious plans she had for the night. Poor lamb.

                        Meggles' Mum, Jo-Jo and her friend Willard.
                         21 is when you finally grant your parents their freedom!

When it came to the celebratory time of night for the birthday speeches, we heard amusing anecdotes and tributes from Meggles’ Mum, the gracious Jojo. 

Then her father and brothers entertained us with charming tales of when she was a tiny dot… but suddenly there was a hushed shock wave through the crowd. 

The rambunctious Pinky was to be alarmingly observed shoving her way to the front of the room; a dogged and determined expression on her face.

“Is that the ‘mother-in-law’?” I heard someone murmur in astonishment at the audacity of the pushy woman.

Of course this morning I awoke with a start and instantly regretted my actions.

I should never have done it. I really had NO right… but it seemed like such a good idea at the time. 

I did learn some home truths about the art of public speaking which I’d like to share with you though. 

After all… it’s better to learn from OTHER people’s mistakes isn’t it?

1. Always rehearse your speech. Don’t get up there in front of the audience and then stare like a petrified deer in the glaring headlights of a Chevy Pick-up truck carrying a dozen of its dead, cervine buddies in the back, with absolutely no idea of what you’re going to say.

2. Do some relaxation breathing or exercises beforehand. This therapy should not be comprised of three glasses of Chardonnay and a large rum and coke. Alcohol merely provides you with unwarranted self-confidence and gives you undeserved notions of grandiosity. In the same way the evil liquor leads you to think you can sing and dance it also instills a belief you can pull off an improvised stand-up comedy routine.

3. Lead in to your speech with an anecdote. But… please make the story about the birthday girl, not a (self-proclaimed) hilarious story about yourself. It’s not always about YOU. Okay?

4. Use body language to work the room. This, however, does not include majestic, sweeping gestures with your arm which take out the bevy of drinks on the table behind you. No one likes a grand-stander… especially the bar staff.

5. Above all, keep your speech short and simple. Everyone is busting a gut for you to shut the hell up and get off the podium so they can eat the cake.

Happy birthday darling Meggles!

Do you get nervous giving speeches or are you the confident type?

Linking up with Emily from Have a Laugh on Me at Laugh Linkup!