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Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Employment Ennui

E is for Employment Ennui

Remember I told you about a (one term only) job interview I went to a couple of weeks ago?

Well, I didn’t get the job.

Whilst I sat fretfully and neurotically reliving the interview afterwards, it occurred to me that when the principal told me about how I’d have to write all the students’ report cards at the end of term, I probably shouldn’t have screwed up my face in horror.

I also shouldn’t have audibly moaned when the principal informed me I’d have to go on a school camp (out bush) with the class in the final week of term.

I also shouldn’t have chirpily added, “Oh well, at least the camp is only for three days, I’ll just hit the pub on the way home!”

I actually did say that... I’m not joking. Nerves, I suppose.

There were two people interviewing me. One of them hesitated, stared at me when I blurted it out, then chuckled cautiously, while the other interviewer just put his head in his hands and rolled his eyes.

It took me three days to confess to Scotto what I’d said in the interview. He was gunning for me to get the job and I knew in my heart I’d shot myself in the foot; hoist by my own petard, misapplied my questionable wit and turned it against myself.

This is me about to hoist myself on my own petard.

“You can’t say things like that in job interviews, Pinky!” he gasped. “You aren’t Bridget bloody Jones, you know. You’re supposed to be a professional teacher who is responsible for nurturing young minds.”

“People need to get a sense of humour,” I whined. “My old boss would have laughed.”

“Well you aren’t in Kansas anymore, Dorothy,” he scolded.

Hmmm. So it seems.

It didn’t matter because I received a phone call the same afternoon from another school offering me three weeks’ work anyway and that school is at least twenty minutes closer to where I live.

So now I have to plan three weeks of drama lessons for classes ranging from Prep to Year Six and I’m struggling to escape the shroud of ennui that has enveloped me during my four months of long service leave.

I love teaching drama but it is hard work what with all the dynamic leaping around like frogs, wrinkle inducing facial expressions and forced enthusiasm required.

I feel confident teaching the older kids but the preppies might pose more of a challenge. I had one day of teaching drama to the little preppies (4-5 year olds) last term at the school and it was lovely. Tiny, incoherent big-eyed creatures kept coming up and hugging me around my legs. I felt truly appreciated for a change.

They can barely even speak at that age so teaching them drama is no walk in the park. I’d never done it before and when twenty-five of them all wanted to go to the toilet at the same time; I was too scared not to let them go in case of accidents. 

Then one of the minuscule critters jammed her hand in the self-closing door and squealed over and over in a pitch I’ve never heard before except in movies about blood-sucking aliens and I panicked which set the others off and yeah… it wasn’t a good way to finish the lesson ...

But I’ll be better prepared next term. Nobody will be allowed to go to the toilet or go near vicious doors unsupervised.

And I won’t use silly phrases like “hoist my own petard” when I’m talking to anyone because they’ll think I’m strange.

Any tips or advice?