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Tuesday, April 26, 2016


U is for Uncensored

It’s my last week fulfilling a three week relief contract at the school and I’m starting to panic about getting more work. I was thinking about what else I could do to support myself and it occurred to me I could open a Fudge Shop. I can make fudge I think. I could give all my culinary inventions funny names.

I think I’d call the shop, It’s a Fudging Miracle.

I could include products such as the following on display,

Extra chewy fudge called, Harden the Fudge Up.

Fudge to take along to comedy movies, called, It’s Funny as Fudge.

Fudge to serve at funeral wakes, called, Fudge Me Dead.

Fudge to send to friends you haven’t seen for a while, called, How the Fudge Are You?

Fudge for weddings, called, Congratufudginglations!

Fudge for graduations, called, You’re a Fudging Genius, Son!

Fudge for people in hospital, called, Fudge, that Hurt!

Fudge for annoying kids called, Shut the Fudge Up.

Fudge to keep in your glove box on road trips, called, Where the Fudge Are We?

Fudge especially for telephone salesmen and the like, who knock on your door at 7:00am on Sunday morning, called, Why Don’t You Go Fudge Yourself?

Fudge for those times like when your phone drops out mid-sentence, called, What the Fudge Just Happened?

Mother’s day Fudge called, Motherfudger.

Fudge to eat when your laptop bluescreens, called, It’s Fudged.

Fudge to eat when after your laptop dies, then you lose your phone, called, Unbefudginglievable.

And yes, I had absofudginluterly NOTHING to write about tonight for the letter fudging “U”.

But I think there’s definitely a market for my concept.

Any other ideas?