Pinky's Book Link

Thursday, September 12, 2013

How to Make a Sea Monster Costume - Pinky Style

8:30 am: Pinky arrives at school in panic as realises needs two sea monster costumes by midday tomorrow for dress rehearsal.

10:30 am: Asks useless colleagues in staff room for suggestions.

Greggles: Garbage bags.

Kyles: You can get different coloured garbage bags now!

Elle: Just cut up some garbage bags, Pinky.

Bit tacky… thought self. Don’t think would ever contemplate employing something as pedestrian as garbage bag in design of costume. That's what happens when work with amateurs!

11:00 am: Interrogate students in class.

“Are you absolutely POSITIVE no one has a sea monster or any type of monster costume at home?”

“No, Mrs Poinker,” came chorus of unhelpful ten year olds.

3:00pm: Drive at speedy pace to Spotlight- hub of craft and costuming and savior of drama teachers.

No sea monster costumes to be seen… only ton of orange pumpkins with faces.

Sh#t a brick!

4:00 pm: Defeated, stagger down garbage bag aisle of supermarket perusing multi-coloured options. 

Still can’t bring self to lower lofty standards.

Drive home with sinking, depressed feeling in guts.

5:00 pm: Waste one hour looking at Twitter and Facebook.

6:00 pm: Pour glass of wine to help with agitated emotions. Wait for yellow muse to provide inspiration.

6: 30 pm: Muse being b#stard and hiding somewhere. 

Pour another glass of wine… still nothing.

6:40 pm: Check pantry for garbage bags. Find missing dog worming tablets but no garbage bags and now can’t drive to shop as over alcohol limit.

6:45 pm: Very handsome law student son arrives and agrees to go to shop for garbage bags if make him delicious hot dog.

Too easy.

7:00 pm: Enlist equally handsome husband to cut up garbage bags and pose as model. Husband also accepts hot dog as payment.

Result: Sea monster costume brought to you by Multix Garbage Bags and Hans American Hot Dogs.