Pinky's Book Link

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Should I have my teenage sons neutered?

This letter arrived in the snail mail yesterday. It seems that Pablo the Chihuahua’s number is up.

The vet wants him for more than just a little chat, a vaccination and the odd claw clip this time.

In order to avoid undesirable behaviours such as; humping, wandering, fighting, and marking his territory he needs to be neutered (castrated, desexualised, sterilised, desexed, demasculinised, vasectomised, emasculated, altered, or fixed).

The thought has occurred to me that it is not poor unsuspecting Pablo who needs to have his yet undescended testicles lopped off. 

I’m thinking of a couple of undomesticated teenage youths currently in situ at Poinker Palace who may benefit from a bit of a snip.

Let’s see; sterilisation prevents wandering, fighting, humping, and marking out territory.

This could mean the end of anxious nights waiting to hear the front door slam itself off its hinges just so I know my wandering teenager is home safely and not spending the night in the lock-up or worse.

No more fighting, yelling and shoving matches over who drank the last swig of Coke or who gets to watch Entourage versus (WWE Main Event) World Wrestling Entertainment.

The stinky, urinally smell emanating from the downstairs toilet will be a distant memory as the boys will no longer feel the urge to spray the wall, floor and toilet seat in order to mark their domain.

I suppose I haven’t noticed any obvious displays of humping, but then again I can’t be absolutely positive about that.

While the boys are on the operating table the Vet might like to microchip them as well… and clean their ears and clip their fingernails.

The only drawback I can see from the literature provided by the Vet is that once neutered the male patients increase their daily food intake by 26% and at the same time their energy expenditure drops by 30%.

Does that mean I’ll wind up with obese teenage boys lounging around the house, eating Hungry Jacks and painting their toenails?

I’ll tell you what… I’ll leave it up to you dear readers. Should I have the boys neutered or not?

Please enjoy a couple of "Scumbag Steve" memes I created which reflect the recent goings on at Chez Poinker over the last couple of days leading to this vitriolic post!