Pinky's Book Link

Friday, July 19, 2013

Thank Goodness it's Friday

Speed reading my Facebook feed this afternoon before picking up Lulu from her job at the donut shop, I spotted this tremendously jubilant image of hubby Scotto, taking delivery of his brand new car. He does appear to be a mite jolly doesn’t he? Cool number plate! 

Scotto flew down South this morning and will drive the steely beast back to North Queensland later in the week. Meanwhile, Pinky has been left to her own dodgy devices for a few days.

Yes… I’m all alone and “While the cat’s away the mice will play”… (or maybe I should be saying, “While the cat’s away the lunatics will be running the asylum”).

Tomorrow, my exciting plans include attending the Ladies’ Day (sponsored by Tackleworld, the fishing mob, which is ironic) at the horsey races. 

A ticket was purchased at a cost which I believe could support a large family in the Democratic Republic of the Congo for an entire year. This gold-plated, exclusive ticket means Pinky is authorised to sit in a very exclusive marquee with a couple of hundred other excitable but extorted fillies (apparently the cost of the ticket doesn’t include alcohol????).

When I say ‘other fillies’, I don’t actually consider myself to be included in that metaphorical description. Sadly I am fully aware that I am no longer a filly… not even a mare really; an old nag ready for the glue factory is probably closer to the mark.

Arrangements have been made for my fun-loving but slightly nefarious friend Dolly, to pick me up on her way and to then meet up with the ‘Dolly Birds’ for an outing which could possibly degenerate into a group of (very attractive) middle-aged women atrociously disgracing themselves.

Dolly, you see, is a wicked influence and if you remember this post…click here has led me astray more than once at the gee-gees.

These are the items I will be packing in my clutch bag to insure the best possible outcome in any situation.

# Aspirin, for the headache I will develop from the feathery Fascinator I’ll be wearing.

# Bandaids, for raw blistered heels resulting from the ridiculously high shoes I’ll be wearing.

# A pen, so we can circle the hot, sure-thing tips we acquire into our betting guide.

# My lucky pebble.

# Sunglasses, so I can stare at and secretly mock people in strange outfits without them cottoning on to it.

# A camera to make sure we get a photo of at least one of the Dolly Birds falling over (probably me).

# Safety pins, in case someone rips their dress when they take a tumble (possibly me).

# Bribe money, for when we need to get one of the Dolly Birds out of the Paddy Wagon.

# A spare pair of knickers (I’m not really sure why, but it always makes me feel more secure to know they’re in my bag).

And finally…

# A phone, so I can call one of my judgemental children at the end of the day and slur, 

“Thaddeushhh, itsh ya Mummy, come and take me home pleashh. Mummy ish a bit pished!”

                      I was a filly once you know!